it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
