Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
