have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
