I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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