Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize