He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
