I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize