She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
