So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
