SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
