Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
