And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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