please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
