some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
