glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
