Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
