I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
