idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
