so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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