I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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