How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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