so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
