The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
