Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
