people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
