I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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