i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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