Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
