Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
