You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
