I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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