id be glad to
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
