Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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