Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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