so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
