I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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