Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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