come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
