you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
