We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
