i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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