Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
