What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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