I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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