it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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