the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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