it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
