When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so much tequila, so little girl.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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