Swine flu. Run for my life!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
