At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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