I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
