My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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