And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
