they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
