There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
