So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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