Me too!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
