it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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