i think i have herpe
just one?
He felt like a one man threesome
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
did i walk over a car last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
