biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
