Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
