Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
