I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
