dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
