Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
