Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
