i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I will pee on everything he values.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
