Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
