I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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