Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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