all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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