I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
