He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
