We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
