don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish they made helmets for livers.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
