Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This baby is an asshole
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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