theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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