Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
