new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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