So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
